Frustration and Joy

It is difficult to put into words my frustrations. I feel so misunderstood. All of my young life I felt like an outcast, like someone who did not belong. I felt that people often misunderstood me or misjudged me. I have come to several conclusions as I have gotten older.

First, I stopped worrying about what others thought about me. The reason is not because I no longer cared what they thought but finally came to the conclusion that I am a good person that has much to offer the world. I care for others. I try to help other people as often as I can.

Second, I have the type of personality that is going to rub some people the wrong way. I have a strong outgoing personality. I like to laugh and to make others laugh as well.

I don't know why I am writing this. I guess a number of insecurities have resurfaced. I have felt always like I was on the outside looking in with regards to my family. I am not sure my parents understand me very well. I can understand why they might find me an enigma. Being adopted I share no genetic similarities with my parents. I have come to the conclusion that some of our personality traits are almost hard wired into our genetic code. Having two children of my own, I often see them acting much the same way that I used to act when I was a child.

I am nothing like my parents. They are quiet and passive. I am outgoing and strong willed. So I guess that I can understand their frustration. I am just venting.
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Its been a tough couple of days. Being newly married is a tough adjustment in and of itself. I was not single that long, and so being with someone is not an issue. I was married for 13 years. They were not perfect years, but they were good. But mainly I knew her. I knew her looks, what made her happy, what got her upset. I knew her sounds; when she was unhappy or happy. I knew when she was in pain (whether it was physical or emotional). In a nutshell, I knew her well. Now I have to start all over again.

I am not worried about this challenge. I feel very fortunate to have found such a wonderful companion to spend my life with. We have much in common. It takes time to get to know someone new.

But now we are apart. It is difficult. I need her. But her son needs her more right now. It is still very difficult though.

And today I found out more very sad news. My mother called me today and informed me that my cousin passed away. He was only a few years older than me and it is very sad. Unfortunately he battled drug and alcohol addiction for much of his adult life. I was not close to him, but that is not my fault. For some reason my aunt, uncle and their children chose not have a relationship with me. I am not sure why and now that I am almost 40 I don't care. Regardless, I cannot imagine what my aunt and uncle are going through. They have brought five children into this world, but have lost three already. Having experienced loss in my life, I still cannot imagine what it must be like for them.

The good news is that I am about to become a grandpa. My new stepson and his wonderful fiance are about to have a child. I did not think that this would happen for a number of years but I welcome this new title and challenge.

Despite the challenges, life is wonderful.

Dark Clouds

So I had hoped that this new year would be better. It has not started out that way. Just before Christmas, we found out that my step son was nearly killed in an auto accident. Fortunately he only lost his left leg. No brain injury, no paralysis. No, I am not trying to minimize what happened. I am being honest. This has changed our lives again. Both my wife and I have had to make tremendous sacrifices to help him in his recovery, but he will recover and will be able to live a normal healthy life. He should and is counting his blessings.

As I say I want a break, I am reminded that things could be worse. I have my health. My wife and kids are also healthy. We have a wonderful house to live in. I have a job that pays my bills (barely). I have friends and family who love me. I have my faith which guides me on a daily basis.

I need to be more thankful for what I have. I need to be more patient. I need to remember why I am here.

A new direction

I do not write enough. I am finding that since the election, I am not that political. Well maybe I am just tired of the vitriol, tired of the name calling, the bating, the labeling. I am just tired. This has been a year from hell. So much has changed in my life.

I need to express my feelings more. I need to write about what I feel and experience. I think I may be a bit to repressed, even though I am an opinionated and and outgoing person. As such, I think I will write more about what I feel and how I am, and more frequently. I will also begin to reflect on this years happenings.

I will continue to write about politics, sports, whatever, but I think that this site will now be more of a personal journal experience, rather than an opinion page.

What does it matter. No one is reading this anyway. So I can do whatever the hell I want.

Why the Yankees failed

So the Yankees have made an early exit out of the MLB playoffs yet again, but this year according to multiple news sources, Steinbrenner may fire one of the very best managers in baseball. No doubt this is a case of throwing out the baby with the bath water.

The Yankees have not won a world series in 2000, and have not been in the world series since '01 for one reason...Pitching.

This year the Yankee pitching staff finished 12th in MLB. Compared to the other AL teams in the playoffs, they were by far the worst pitching team and only the St. Louis Cardinals had a higher team ERA than the Yankees.

Torre is not the one who makes the trades, and the Yankees have traded away young talent to get monster bats in the lineup. Simply put, the Yankees keep adding aging pitchers, rather than young ones, and have failed to cultivate any young arms out of their system.

Take a team like the Angels, as a comparison. They lost their Cy Young winner, Bartolo Colon for almost the entire year, yet stayed in contention until the final week of the season. How did they do this? Not by outscoring their opponents but by bringing up young arms who not only pitched adequately, but rather buoyed a pitching staff that could have fallen apart. Jared Weaver, Joe Saunders, and Ervin Santana along with Farm product John Lackey have become a formidable young staff, with tremendous upside. The Angels were able to go into their farm system and fill in for not one but two starters. Yes Colon got injured, but Jeff Weaver, Jared's brother was waived by the Angels after posting an era over 6.

All the other teams in the AL know that they cannot spend like the Yankees and have tried to figure out how to beat them and many have done it. The only team that tried to beat the Yankees at their own game was the Red Sox and they missed the playoffs this year. When the beat the Yankees in 04, their pitching got better after being down 0-3 and the Yankees did not score more than 4 runs in any of the final four games.

The formula for beating the Yankees is out there in a playoff series. Great pitching almost always beats great hitting. Lets hope the Yankees don't figure this out and keep putting together those monster lineups and neglecting their pitching staff and bull pen.

What the Repubican Agenda Should Be!

So we are sixty days out from the mid-term elections and the polls show that the Democrats could at least take back the House of representatives and possibly the Senate. As I watch this, I see that the leadership in the White House and the Senate have allowed themselves to get punched in the teeth and have made themselves vulnerable to what may happen in November. But as I sit here and write this, I know that hope is not lost, because I know that the majority of Americans are center-right politically.

As Rush put it today on his show, if the Republicans lose in November, it will not be because of the war. It will be because of the moderates in the party. It is moderate views that have made them vulnerable. So, since I have this space that no one reads, I have decided to lay out the agenda that I think would bring the Republicans victory this fall and even victory in 2008.

1) Immigration reform. Border states such as Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California know this all to well. The Republicans need to be the party that is strong on border security. The issue of "guest workers" can be put aside, but the Republicans can agree on securing the border now. They need to push an agenda through the Senate and the house that promotes strong border security and get on record Democrats opposition to this.

2)The War on Terror. With the latest terror plot foiled by Scotland Yard, the War on Terror has been brought to the forefont again. The Administration and the leadership in the senate need to talk up the importance of this war against Islamo-fascism. The administration is starting to do this, but they need to turn up the rhetoric. They need to remind Americans that the Islamic fundamentalists want to destroy us, and that the War on Terror (which includes the war in Iraq) is a war on the level WWII and it is a war that cannot be lost.

3)The Economy--The Bush Administration needs to take the credit for the economy that has maintained its strength, while avoiding inflation and recession. Unlike the last president that took the credit for an economy that he had absolutely nothing to do with, Bush's policies have helped to keep the fires of the economy stoked. It can be argued that the Bush tax cuts are what helped keep this economy going despite some horrible things that could have crippled the economy, beginning with 9/11, and includes rising oil prices, Hurricane Katrina and other events and disasters that could have ravaged this economy. The Republican leadership needs to continue to be the party of tax cuts.

4)An aggressive energy policy designed to rid US dependence on foreign oil. The Republicans can become a much greener party here. But what is interesting is that this shift would be an economic shift, not a environmental one. It makes economic sense to unhitch the economy from the drag of OPEC oil. The policy needs to be two fold. First they need to push through a vote to get drilling done in ANWR. There may be as much as a 100 year supply of oil for the US in a very small part of a vast wasteland environmentalism have labeled a refuge. The second is to promote alternative fuel sources such as hydro power and grain fuel through corporate tax incentives. The democrats have always been awarded the label of the greener party, but they have done nothing to really push an agenda that is economically sound. All they want to do is to restrict businesses rather than give businesses incentives to pursue these alternative fuel sources.

These are just a few things that the Republicans should do if they want keep control of the house and the senate. I will post some more in a few days.

My Take on the Illegal immigration Debate

I am surprised that there is even a real debate in this country over illegal immigration. I am trying to figure out how anyone can support amnesty, or any other program that would give people who break the law to come here a reward over those who try to do it right by coming here through the legal channels set up by the I.N.S.

This debate should start from the standpoint of national security. 9/11 changed America. We are no longer a safe nation. There are people around the world that want to come to this country to do harm to American citizens, simply because we are Americans. Americans should be terrified. If illegal immigrants can so easily enter this country through our porous borders to work in the US, then how easy is it for Al Qaida to sneak across the border, set up terror cells in the US and then plot, plan and carry out violence against Americans? We Americans should be screaming at our Elected leaders to do enforce immigration laws and close our borders.

What bothers me is that Latin American immigrants, legal and illegal are protesting immigration reform in mass. What I don't understand is what arguments they are trying to make. Organizers are trying to paint this as a racial issue but I would venture to guess that most Americans would say that they are not opposed to immigration. This country was built on immigrants coming to this country looking for a better life. No true American should be opposed to people coming here to find a better life, as long as they do it legally. I welcome all people who want to come here to get their piece of the American Dream.

But what do these protestors want? The vast majority of Americans, particularly in border states, are opposed to illegal immigration because of the problems that illegal immigration cause. Whenever an Illegal goes to a hospital emergency room and gets services, that cost not paid by them, is transferred to American Citizens. Many Illegals do not pay taxes and yet they send their kids to American public schools without paying a dime. Our prison systems are full of illegal immigrants who broke the law to get into this country, and then broke the law while in this country. If these protestors are wanting amnesty for illegal immigrants they should be told by every government official, Republican or Democrat, NO WAY.

There really should be no debate here. NONE. The press, organizers, and liberals are trying to make this about discrimination. They are trying to paint American citizens who oppose illegal immigration as xenophobic hayseeds who hate all who do not look like us. Liberals are pandering to this group in order to get votes. This means that liberals would prefer to put our national security at risk to get a few more votes. This is truly sad. To even consider giving illegals amnesty is to say, "hey thanks for breaking our laws, now we would like to reward you by giving you legal residency, and a possibility of citizenship. It doesn't matter that you disregarded our laws and it does not matter that thousands of your brethren have chosen to respect the law and are waiting for their turn to come legally. Come on in, sit down and make yourselves at home."

These protests are going on in the wrong place. Rather than biting the hand that feeds you by protesting against the US government, Mexicans should be protesting in their own country to try and get the government of that country to root out corruption and try to use the resources that are abundant in that country to build an economy that can support its people.

Taking a break

If there is anyone out there that has been reading my blog, I am sorry that it has been so long since I have posted anything. I had a personal tradedy in my life, and have until recently been completely disinterested in politics or culture over the past few months. I will probably resume my blogging within the next month or so. Until then, have fun.